Thursday, June 16, 2011


Bella is seven. She attended school in the Philippines. Seeing her older sisters here go off to school each day drives her crazy! She wants to go to school very badly. On the other hand, it was recommended by the physician who reviewed our daughters' medicals that they be home schooled. I can see very well home schooling the two younger girls, but I'm not sure it is fair to Bella to keep her home. We've been homeschooling since Monday already and her printing is impeccable. She knows how to read and is quite adept at her numbers already too. I know that she is behind her peers here in Canada, but this girl blows me away!

She is bright, helpful and oh-so-sweet! She is keen to learn and her English is pretty good already. I'm not sure what we're doing about school with our older daughters still either. Peach is determined to go back to school, but Beans and Squirt not so much. Yes, lots of praying going on here. Lots of decisions still to be made.

So, for those of you who have adopted older children, what would you do? Would you start your child in school in the fall, even though the medical doctor suggested not to, or would you keep him/her home? At this point I am thankful there are only seven days left of school for our older daughters. We have the summer yet to keep on prayin' and making big decisions.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers!


P.S. I've been itching to catch up with all my blogging friends, but the jet lag is still keeping a tight grip on my ability to stay awake past 8 pm :o(. Did you know that they say it takes one day to recover for every time zone you cross? That means 12 days before we start feeling normal again!?!


  1. Deborah,
    Our kiddo is not here yet and we will only have one, so our situation is much different in those regards, but I can tell you that we will absolutely be homeschooling our school-age child. (This also has a lot to do with our school district) Praying for you!

  2. Hi Deborah... while I have no experience with adoption, I do know of numerous recent immigrant families from the Philippines with school-age children. All have done very well in the public school system. They "catch up" very quickly and in no time are at the level of their peers (Canadian-born peers).

    The only difference maybe would be that the schools here in the GTA have teachers with lots of experience teaching immigrants. They get training on how to teach ESL students. Maybe not so much where you are?

  3. Dear Deborah,
    We were lucky enough to have my little sister come home in July. We were told she was younger, but she is older. With that information we hadn't planned on her attending school. After our Christmas Break she went to a Christian Preschool. Now she will be attending in the fall... We think. My mom is still praying and has a small urge to homeschool her. It would be better for bonding, and attachment. Of course I'm no expert, but I will be praying that God will give you the right decision for her and your family.


  4. That wisdom about the amount of time it takes to get over the jet lag is spot on. Having done the trip to SE Asia three times, I felt a very, very noticeable difference on day 12 or 13. You'll go from feeling like you're in space to feeling like a veil was lifted off your head. Take care, my friend.

  5. Dear Deborah,
    Please be kind to yourself and give yourself the 12 days to adjust or more if you need it!!
    We have not adopted so I really can't speak to that aspect but I am an educator with over 30 years experience and I would say that sending Bella to school in the fall would not be a bad thing. Since she is used to going to school and knows the "routine" that adustment would not be there for her and the benifit of sociolization with the other children may be very helpful to her in many ways.
    I pledge to you and the Engineer to pray for discernment in the schooling decision for all of your children.
    Looking forward to all your fun summer post!
    hugs to all!

  6. Deborah,

    So much encouraging news - we are rejoicing with you :D (And praying for the jet-lag ;D)

    Seems like your decisions about schooling are very inter-related. Bella is so close in age to Squirt that it might make sense to do the same with the two of them.

    My gut feeling is to keep all your "youngers" (at least from Beans on down) home. Bella would probably accept it much more easily if (at least some of) her sisters were home too. She wouldn't feel like she's missing out on something they're getting.

    But whatever you, and the Engineer decide before the Lord, I'm cheering for you :D


    PS And I'm sure, with six siblings, they'll all be adequately socialized!

  7. Hi Deborah,

    You are so in tune with your children, I know you will make the best choice for your family.
    If you do decide.....I know three children that will be riding the same school bus :)

    Take care of yourself,

  8. I was not adopted and have not adopted. The only thing I will say is that sometimes kids can be truly mean to one who is different.

    Our prayers and support are with you all as you discern together. Love to you and your whole family


  9. I have no advice, byt praying the Lord will help you in this decision! Maybe just see how the next few weeks go and how well she is bonding. She probably just wants to be like her big sisters. If some are homeschooled next year, then it will probably be easier for Bella and she won't feel left out or different. So much for no advice!

    I'm sure you will feel much better once the 12 days have past, I remember when we flew to Europe it was a week before I felt back to normal. :)

    Blessings to you and your precious family!

  10. Jay-R was 5 1/2 when we brought him home, and it was suggested by the preschool that we hold him back a year and not start kindergarten right away because of language and social. Well, my hubby and I decided to register him for kindergarten and wait and see. During the next few months, his English took off, and his true social personality emerged as he became comfortable in his new home and life. I would suggest you do what you feel is best for your family and daughter. You'll know as you get to know her more each day.

  11. Why did the medical doctor say no? How wonderful that there are only a few days of school left. At least you have the summer to adjust and seek the Lord.

    I'm marveling again at how beautiful your family is, the natural born and the chosen! What a great God we serve!

    Blessings, Debbie

  12. Praying for your family to have one heart and mind about school as you pray together. What a beautiful, sensitive heart you have!

  13. Hi Deborah - we were thinking of home schooling our boys when we started into the process and from the reports we received from the Philippines. When we met and then arrived home it was clear that home schooling would be helpful to some areas but in the long run more could be gained from public school. Honestly, I don't think they would have learned English or been catching up in their schooling as quickly had we chosen homeschooling. Looking back it has been a good choice for us. But we've been very fortunate to have a very helpful school district and staff. We did start them in 1 grade back from their age appropriate grades. Prayers for everyone as you continue your decision process and for that dreaded jet lag to ease off! Take care - Lori, Iowa

  14. School is just about out for the summer. I'm sure that by fall they will be ready to go to school with the rest of the kids. It's the best way to assimilate into this new land. If problems do arise, you can always change your mind and homeschool later. That, to me, is better than having them stuck at home for an entire year feeling like they don't fit in with the other kids.
    I didn't have adopted kids, but I did raise an autistic son, and I can tell you doctors don't know everything. He was deamed unteachable (in grade 8!)by the school phychologist, but went on to graduate ahead of the rest of his class.

  15. Attachment is one of those things that will affect everything else down the road for so many years to come. With Sedaya, I thought her attachment must be okay because she had been home for so long, until I started noticing those awful signs like her crawling up onto the laps of every woman she met (cringe). With Elijah, we were so purposeful about the attachment, that he is very securely attached. Sedaya we just started attachment therapy at home less than two months ago and it has made a world of difference. Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that generally speaking, I think attachment trumps everything else and staying home with you is the best plan, but there may be extenuating circumstances that will make that not possible in September. For now, wait and see. Mostly, wait and pray.

    It's ironic actually because I had come over here to give you a link for a homeschooling lapbook that I thought might be fun to do with all your kids next year.

    It's so early yet. Don't make any decisions yet. And take everyone's advice and get some rest and go easy on yourself.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love to hear from my readers!

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