Truth Tuesday (AKA Home Five Months)

I'm linking up with Sharla today at The Chaos and the Clutter. (We lead somewhat parallel lives. If you stop by her blog,  you'll know what I mean).

Can you believe it?! We've had our three girls home for five months already!! As I started typing this post this morning, I was being accompanied by beautiful (well not exactly) piano music in the background. The two youngest were tinkling away on our Clavinova. That I've learned to tune out. Other things? Mmm, not so much.

Everywhere we go, people ask us excitedly how are the girls doing!? Truthfully, I'm getting tired of the question. They've been uprooted from what was home to them more than once, to be met by these giant white people who don't speak a lick of Illongo, but proceed to drag them around a small part of their country, force them to eat food they're not sure they like, take them into this giant body of water called a pool and call it swimming, do battle with them every day because what they want and what the tall white people want are two different things, to eventually board yet another airplane and spent over 36 hours traveling, to a country where it's cold 3/4's of the year, to suddenly have to adapt to everything and everyone new. How would you be doing?

Exactly!! You'd be a basket case! Thankfully our girls are not. They are learning English quite well  -- provided you know they ride a bus school (school bus), and go to dress (get dressed).  That the like soap (soup), and feesh (fish). They've adapted quite nicely to the cooler weather. In fact today it's 15 degrees Celsius out and the two youngest are outside playing without their winter coats on and having a great time.

They love school, although academically one is doing much better than the other. (I'm not going to say who, but she is getting the help she needs). One is already asking to take piano lessons like her older sisters. Basically  they jump into everything with two feet! In fact one of them so much so that I've been seriously considering making her wear a crash helmet all day.

The question we, as the girls' parents need to hear is, "how are you doing?" (Happily one of the awesome children's teachers at Bible study did say to me that she sincerely hoped I was finding time to take a break once in awhile. I then proceeded to laugh hysterically. Just kidding!).

All fun aside, even though the girls are adjusting well, sometimes we are not. The girls are still very loud. They are also very boisterous, whiny, and demanding. You have to realize there are three of them, plus four older siblings who although very well adjusted and adapting nicely to their three little sisters, need some Mom and Dad time too.  What I am saying is that these three are very high maintenance yet. Surprisingly, I do let them out of my sight, but bells start ringing in my head the second I don't hear anything. If you give in to a previous "no" even once, they will work it to their advantage every time. In their case, they very much love that adage, rules we're made to be broken.

I feel a little sad for me, when I read from my fellow Philippines adoptive families how in love they are with their new son or daughter. Many days, I'm just not feelin' it. I love them yes, because I know God planned them perfectly for our family. I just am not loving the screaming, whining, lying, disobedience, jealousy, and general cacaphony of noise they create. So am I feeling attached to them? Yes, there are times that I do feel attached to them. Do I feel like we've bonded? Mmm, not as much. It's coming, but some days are seriously better than others.

At this point I find myself wishing they could communicate their needs and wants more clearly. Yes, their English continues to expand, but they still aren't able to connect what they are feeling or thinking to how to say it. That's the thing. They understand instruction (most of the time), but they cannot communicate when they don't, nor can they tell us what they are feeling or thinking. Sometimes it drives me mad because you can see it on their faces that they want to explain what they're feeling, but they haven't the foggiest idea how or even where to start. I firmly believe that once they can communicate their feelings that we'll overcome a huge portion of the whining, greediness, and general obnoxiously loud noise. Of course their ability to communicate will open up all sorts of new issues, but we'll deal with those when they arrive.

I find myself in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I'm sure even in my sleep, there is a part of my brain that is attuned and ready to flinch at the sound of screeching or high decibel chatter. I'm happy they're in bed by 7:30 and that we no longer even have to sit at their door until they fall asleep, but I find myself working at breakneck speed to do all the things that I can't do during the day -- only to fall into bed an hour past when I should be asleep. Only to wake up too early and start over again.

Until you have been with our daughters for a day, you will not fully comprehend what I mean when I say that they are busy. Only the unfortunate ;o) few experience it. On the other hand, they are so stinking cute and ridiculously funny sometimes that I can't begin to imagine life without them.

It's then -- when you realize that you can't imagine life without them -- that you know that perhaps, despite the perpetual noise and  the exhaustion that the bonding is coming along quite nicely.

Adoption isn't a destination, it's a lifelong journey into love.

Adoption is a major undertaking in every way, physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially.