Sunday, March 11, 2012

Nine Months and Growing! (No, I'm NOT Pregnant!!)

I never did a six month post, so I thought maybe a nine month post would be good.

In some ways the girls have been with us long enough that it feels like they've always been here. They really are a perfect fit for our family.

In other ways though, we know we still have a loooong way to go.

We'll start with Peanut. At this point to me she behaves like a very typical three year old. She's actually four mind you, but as we learned beforehand, their emotional ages, don't usually match their physical age. (Very typical of children in multiple homes from birth.) She looks like she's only three anyways, so it works well for us -- provided that we remind ourselves that she processes things the way a three year old does. She has two moods. Happy or whining and obstinate. When she's happy she smiles at everything and everyone. Hit your head? Smile anyways. She's that happy. When she's whining, nobody works but mommy and she gives everyone else the grunt and dirty look. Hit your head? The whole world knows about it.

She plays very well on her own, but needs to know that I'm nearby. She strings together three and four word sentences, and understands simple questions. After that we're not sure how good her English is getting. Often she seems totally clueless as to what she was instructed to do, or the question she was asked. On the other hand, we've forgotten what it's like to have a 3yo in the house and I think sometimes we expect too much from her. I'm sure as the months continue to fly by that we'll continue to see more comprehension on her part.

Bright Eyes has made HUGE strides! She was our most timid child and in a way our most angry child too. Not so much angry about all the new, but angry about her inability to communicate and our ability to understand her. However, now that her English -- both comprehension and speaking has improved, she is more content. She can be very stubborn to the point of ridiculousness, but at the same time, she is the least work of the three of them. She has a fantastic sense of humour. She actually gets when we're teasing her and will break up into this rolling belly laugh. She also gives as good as she gets and loves to tease her brother. Considering that she was the most timid initially she is the one who went to sit with my parents in church this morning. Mind you, they were in the pew right behind us -- just over to the left a bit more, but to her that's all she needs. If she can see us, it's all good. That is the one thing we find that she has not resolved. She still constantly has to check up on us and know exactly where we are and what we are doing. It's almost as if she's afraid that if she doesn't check regularly, we'll just up and disappear on her. Even though we know that that could very possibly be the reason, it sometimes does get very frustrating when you're being raked over the coals so to speak by your seven year old for the umpteen dozenth time.

Bella. Our trial by fire. Truthfully she has been very difficult. I'm not going to go into great detail, but I will say that she has learned the survival skills of a displaced child well! Yesterday afternoon I finally decided to voice some of what I've been feeling because of what I think she's been feeling. It's nine months, so in her mind, that means in three months, she will be off too a new home again. At this point she can't put that into words in her head or out loud, but I'm pretty sure that's what she's been feeling as she has been testing us at every turn.  I told her yesterday, "you can make mean angry all you want, but you are not going anywhere! You are my daughter and it is my job to help you grow and learn. However, you also need to learn to obey! You are making your life more difficult by not listening to Mom and Dad and doing what you are told." It was a very testy afternoon until then. This morning however, she awoke with a smile on her face ready to face the world. She's been mostly congenial and willing to obey. Let's pray it's a turn for the better.

Today it is 17 degrees Celsius here. Days like this are much anticipated and the four youngest are currently munching store brand fruit loops up in one of our pine trees. I anticipate sap covered clothing, rosy cheeks, and tired children. It's moments like this, when they're simply being kids that you know that all the pain, the grief, and the struggles are worth it. We are blessed!

11 comments:

  1. I love your updates. Deborah, you're so honest - without compromising their privacy.

    You guys are doing a WONDERFUL job :D

    Julie

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  2. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart in such a transparent way,
    Hugs and love to you all,
    ~a

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  3. You are blessed and you are strong!

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  4. You and your husband are doing a wonderful job! What a testament to your love for Jesus! I love to read about your followups.

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  5. The girls sound like they're transitioning well! I can tell they have leaned so much, and they have grown so much!

    Bella sounds very much like our 'T'. And what you said to her, are almost the exact same words my mom told 'T' a couple days ago... Great moms think alike!

    Praying for you and all of them! May they continue to trust you more and know that God put them in your family FOREVER! :)

    Blessings,
    ~Michlyn

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  6. Oh, you ARE blessed! Hooray!
    Love the tree climbing cuties!

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  7. I think your family is amazing. I know it cant be easy....I will pray for you guys..... our middle child has been a real handful the last few weeks...and honestly I am surprised they all have not been worse with all our family has been through this last year. change and constant change is hard but I am sure your familys faith and consistency will reap wonderful in the lives of all your children. Love Heather

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  8. I love this. What great strides you are all making, I will continue praying for the process! Peace for the girls and patience for you!

    Blessings!
    Emily

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  9. Love this update, Deborah! Your transparency & honesty is just beautiful.

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  10. Wonderfully honest report that shows a lot of progress being made. Really it's good news that there is testing going on (believe me, I know that it doesn't feel good when you're living it!) and it's great that there is less frustration now that their English is coming along.

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  11. Wow, nine months. Thanks for the update. It's so great to read about how they are doing. It's not easy is it but the perspective of progress so far is great. Just think how far you all will come in the next year. You are doing an amazing job.

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