Friday, May 9, 2008

Friday

Usually I greatly enjoy Fridays. We finish up the school work for the week, do some tidying and cleaning, have pizza for supper, and maybe a movie. Today though, I just can't seem to snap out of my gloom. I have done nothing but bawl -- and clean the bathroom upstairs. I just think I'm over it and then I think of something else that I wanted to do with Snoopy -- nad how much I miss her already. Our morning walk without her was sad. She loved those walks!

I can't believe the grief I feel. In fact I feel worse than when Jester got killed or when we had to put our beloved Odie, our Lab/Shepherd of eleven years down. Perhaps it's because I feel like we failed as pet owners. It feels like it is our fault that Snoopy was so active and busy. I know in my heart now that she did not touch that cat -- and if she did, it certainly was not a malicious thing. That cat was sick/injured to begin with. It had to be, considering the condition it was in. (I will not go into detail). There was no way that if Snoopy had touched it that it would look the way it did in that short of time.

I think what drives me crazy is that I don't know that Snoopy will go to a better home. At least when we have lost pets because of death I know that they aren't suffering. I don't want her to go somewhere horrible where she isn't loved just because we felt we couldn't handle her. On the whole she was happy here. She definitely loved us considering all the licks we always got. Somehow, I have to get past this and put her in God's hands. He loves the animals too, or he wouldn't mention them so often in the Bible. As time goes on this burden on my heart will get lighter. I have always had a very soft spot in my heart for animals and no matter how old I get it's not going to go away.

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